Fingerspelling

Here's a quick video I made earlier today.

I'm taking Sign Language and Fingerspelling classes this semester and I just learned the alphabets.

I've gone from being scared that I would never figure Sign Language out yesterday, to being really excited that I can fingerspell my name today.

The plan is to document my progress as I go along and I look forward to laughing at all the mistakes I'm making now when I finally become a pro.

It's all new to me and I still have a looooong way to go, but I'm giving it my best shot!

I signed a special message at the end of the video. Don't miss it ;)

Thanks for coming by again and again.
May your dreams come true.
xoxo

First Day of School... Second Year :)

Monday was the first day of the new school year.

It was also one of those days where nothing goes according to plan.

First I woke up late. An hour and five minutes late.

I rolled out of bed at the same time that Nathan's school bus was rolling out of the parking lot. Missing the bus meant I had to drive him all the way to his school in rush hour traffic, which was made worse by the rain, and then sign him into the tardy log at the front office. He had started school a week earlier than I did, so he wasn't late on his first day. That's what I told myself to feel better.

I couldn't afford to be late on my own first day, so I had to head straight to school. Going back home to take a bath wasn't an option. So, I showed up in class, all dressed up, hoping and praying that no one would faint or fall under the anointing of my perfume masked BO.

Class was okay, nice professor. He told us about how he had a surprise baby even though he had gotten a vasectomy several years ago. Apparently, his tubing somehow reconnected. Talk about life throwing you a curve! The story made me feel better. My less than perfect day paled in comparison.

As I waited for my next class, I began to write a post about my first day of school and the usual "how do you say your name" questions. I didn't finish before my next class though, so I left it in drafts.

My next class was NOT okay. I chose the "wrongest" Arts elective. Music Literature had me yawning barely 10 minutes into the class. After listening to a piece of music and hearing the professor analyze the melody, harmony, rhythm and bla di bla bla bla bla of it, I knew I was in the wrong place. Then she said we would have to attend four mandatory classical music concerts and write reports about them. Detailed reports about Renaissance, Baroque and all that. Between my Sign Language, Fingerspelling and Chemistry classes I'm also taking this semester, there's no way I'm getting into all that stuff I really don't care about. No time. I decided to drop the course, choosing to drive to the admissions office at the campus nearer home so I wouldn't be stuck downtown during rush hour.

I got out of class and into the car, got on the phone and I was so engrossed in gist, I didn't pay attention to my dashboard, until I noticed the car was kinda slow. I was out of gas! Thankfully, I had made my exit off the freeway and I managed to pull into parking lot, so I didn't get towed. A long walk to the nearest gas station and a ride back to the car from a Good Samaritan later, I managed to get some gas in the tank. Not without spilling some on myself, of course. Convincing myself that the smell of gas masked my pre existing BO, I headed for campus to find a way out of the music class that wasn't working.

The song and dance that I had to got through to drop the course was my next challenge. I had to go to the computer lab, then go see a counselor, who had me go back to the lab to fill out a form, then back to her and then to admissions and enrollment and then back to the computer lab. Three hours and $104 later, I had dropped the class and replaced it with another.

And then Alexis' teacher called. She was giving them a hard time and not listening. There was no way I was going to her school in the state I was. I was exhausted and I needed a bath. Badly. I asked her to give the phone to Alexis, who promised she was going to be good after a stern warning. Temporary fix. I'm going to have to figure out a way to get Alexis to stop acting out. All this Diva behavior must stop. Nobody got time for that. 

By the time I hit my bed at almost midnight after picking everyone up in, doing homework, feeding them, giving them baths, putting them to bed, laying everyone's clothes out for the next morning and cleaning up the kitchen, I was knackered. And exhausted. Then I tried to find my post in drafts and it was gone. POOF! 

I couldn't even find the energy to be angry.

Here's what I tweeted

If the first day of the new school year is a preview of the rest.... e don be!
— Gbemisoke (@Gbemisoke) August 27, 2013

Greater is He that is in me tho...
— Gbemisoke (@Gbemisoke) August 27, 2013

Shebi to conquer, you need a battle? I can't be singing "I am more than a conqueror" and be surprised at what life brings.
— Gbemisoke (@Gbemisoke) August 27, 2013

Bring it on!
— Gbemisoke (@Gbemisoke) August 27, 2013

Yeah! Bring it on!
I will deal. And win.
I plan to come back to this post whenever I feel like I'm getting overwhelmed. There are days like Monday, and then there are days like today where it was smooth sailing for the most part and I had enough time to (re)write this post.

Thanks for coming by again and again. May your dreams come true.
xoxo

Last weekend was a tax holiday, perfect time to get everything the munchkins need for the new school year. As I went from store to store, ticking off items from my shopping list, I remembered the events of this time last year.

What was supposed to be a quick shopping trip for Alexis and I, leaving the boys at home to bond, ended up with The Hubs calling 911 when we hadn't returned at almost midnight.

I was sure I blogged about it and I came looking for a post I never wrote. I was pained. I couldn't remember the details. I was sure I shared it though, so I checked my Twitter archives and I was super excited to find my tweets from last year.

I found a picture too.
The Hubs took this picture of Alexis and I as we left for the mall.

Mini Me and I, off to do what girls like to do...Shop ;)

Thanks to Storify, I can share the story here, one year later, as I tweeted it

Blogger feels more permanent than Twitter and it's where I should chronicle my stories. I really should post more, I know... There's so much going on in my life that should be documented. Stories that will fade into distant memories soon...

This girl needs to fix up and quit making excuses.

*Note to self* Stopeeet Gbemi! Stopeeet!!!

I'm writing this from a happy place. I'm learning not to let life's external pressure mess with my mind. I've not mastered it yet, but I'm definitely getting better. God's got me. If I believe it, I should live it. A lot has happened since August 18th 2012 and today, exactly one year later, I am reminded that I have a lot to be thankful for. I take none of my blessings, especially the ones that money cannot buy, for granted.

I'm grateful for, and to you, Debola.
When I count my blessings, I count you twice.

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This Time Last Year

Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

Lemme tell you the story of the missing phone and how my husband called 911 cos he thought I was missing

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:05:41

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

I ran into an old friend at the mall and we had such a great time catching up, I lost track of time...

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:09:20

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

...I called The Hubs as I rushed to the car and he said I could take my time cos he had put the boys to bed already...

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:13:31

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

...I dropped the phone on the hood and bundled sleeping Alexis and all the shopping in the car and drove off, forgetting it there...

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:15:14

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

I was about 5 minutes from home when I ran into traffic, so I reached for my phone to let him know. That was when I remembered.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:19:11

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

20mins away from the mall and not sure how soon I would make it home cos of the crash, I thought going back was a better option, so I did.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:20:53

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

Pushed the pedal to the metal and made it back to parking lot. No phone :(. Used the Mall Cop's phone to call, phone was still ringing.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:23:56

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

Made a report, searched some more, nothing. By now, it was past 11 and The Hubs was worried cos he kept getting my voicemail.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:26:39

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

He called my friend I was gisting with at the mall. Found her number on my BB. She said I had left. He was worried and called 911.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:29:21

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

Then I showed up. The way he held me when he saw me. I must confess, I felt special. :P

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:33:37

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

He called 911 to report my return and as I sat on the stairs watching this man say "my wife is back", my heart swelled.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:36:32

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

I cant describe the feeling. I'm grateful that I have someone to worry about me.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:39:43

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

I don't have parents to worry about me, but he more than makes up for it. I do not take it for granted.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 22:43:42

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

911 dispatcher: describe your wife. Is she small, medium or large? Debola: Err.. none of the above. She's chubby.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 23:01:37

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

I'm not going to wait for the people I love to die before they know how I feel about them. Are you?

Sun, Aug 19 2012 23:09:10

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Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

Memories... That's all we'll be left with... It's totally up to us to decide if they'll be good or bad.

Sun, Aug 19 2012 23:11:35

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Of course, I got teased for tweeting my "cool story". I lovvveeet, lemme not lie, or as we say on Twitter, TBQHAF!

This one from my dear "Komole Bot" was one of the ones I liked the most.

Gbemisoke@Gbemisoke

-_- @Abyurla: Cool story sista Gbemi. Missing 3week old Android turned love story

Sun, Aug 19 2012 23:50:58

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She's right... I'm a love lover... grateful for every day I get to experience the awesomeness that love is. Living, loving and laughing, making the best of today, because tomorrow is not promised. 

Thanks for coming by again and again.

May your dreams come true

:* :* :*

Five months later...

Here's the conversation I had with myself as I attempted to compose a tweet this morning.

Voice in my head:
This story you're writing should be a blogpost o, you this girl.

Me:
I don't have the energy to open my lappy and start composing a post joor. Twitter is easy, I post from my phone.

Voice in my head:
But Gbemi!!! Blog from your phone and quit making excuses joor. Shebi there's a Blogger app.

Me:
It's true o. I even wrote a post about it before. Okay. I'll give it a shot.

Voice in my head:
Yay!!!

So here I am, dusting the cobwebs off this blog (yet again).

It's been five looooong months since my last post and there's been so much going on. Things I  really should be chronicling if I wasn't so lazy.

Trying to tell the stories in chronological order would mean they never get told, so I'm just going to go with what's in my head/on my mind per time.

Short. Random. Kinda like a series of tweets... All posted from my phone.
Maybe I'll go back to edit/format them on a computer. Maybe not.

Let's goooo!

Ready to talk to your kids about sex now?

I woke up to this shocking Daily Mail headline  about four and five year olds having sex at preschool.

Like me, many parents send their children to faith based preschools because we believe that they are safer than regular ones. How wrong this assumption can be.

It's urgent!! We need to step up and be proactive about educating our children and equipping them with the tools they need to survive in a world where sexual perversion has become so pervasive.

Educating our children about sex is primarily the responsibility of parents. Not school, not church, not their peers. It's on us. We need to step up and act NOW!!

Just this Friday, we were talking about it on Twitter. I saw a tweet about 9 and 10 year olds having sex and after I retweeted it, we started talking about the importance of sex education. The discussion soon moved to the appropriate age to talk to kids about sex and when my friend Zinnie said we should let kids be kids, I pointed out that our kids go to school with other kids who already know about sex.

I see what mums like me are concerned about. Why are we telling children in diapers about sex? We should let them grow up, right? Maybe not. It's not just adults molesting kids these days, kids are molesting other kids. Some of these children are victims turned perpetrators and are only passing on what they have learned. I won't be surprised to find out that the five year old who was performing oral sex on other kids was molested herself.

The challenge many parents face is that we do not know where to begin. Our parents may not have talked to us about sex, so we are clueless. Talking to our children about sex can be awkward if we think about it as as having "The Talk" when our children "come of age".

What if we looked at it from another perspective?
Sex and sexuality is just one part of the big picture that life is. We don't set aside one day to teach our children about right and wrong, or about our faith and values. Children are inquisitive and they will ask questions. Every time we answer (or refuse to answer) these questions, we are teaching them.

I think that teaching children about sex should not be an isolated event. We need to listen to them. Let's encourage open conversation and watch them for silent cues.

Now, over to you. How do we protect our children? Please share any helpful tips or suggestions.
Let's learn from you.

What Manner Of Dream Is This?

I had a dream.

Feels kinda weird, waking up on Martin Luther King Day, celebrating a guy whose dreams came to pass, while praying fervently that the dream I had does not come to pass. What manner of confusion is this???!! Sometimes I remember my dreams, sometimes I don't. This particular one, I remember very vividly and it scares me.

In the dream, I was pregnant and I went for an ultrasound that showed I was expecting twins. A boy and a girl. I wasn't upset, like I would be in real life if I found out that I was pregnant now. I was smiling and rubbing my huge round tummy, excited about it all and making a joke about how I said I didn't want any more kids and God laughed at me and gave me two.

I'm not smiling at all right now!!

This is not a joking matter and I need to put it out there, so the universe hears me! 

I DON"T WANT ANY MORE BABIES! PLEASE!!

If you like, laugh at me. God is watching you in 3D. 

I want all those babies for everyone who is believing God for children, just not for me. I'm done!

Babies are great. I consider my children to be my biggest blessings and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I often think about how different my life would be without the responsibility of caring for Nathan, Alexis and David, and every single time, the organized chaos that my life has become wins. Everything I have had to give up pales in comparison to these blessings, especially because money cannot buy them. They are gifts and I consider myself privileged to be a co-creator with God, birthing not just one or two, but three amazing and beautiful children.

It gets overwhelming sometimes a lot of the time. I often think about renting them out, or donating them to charity, just so I can catch a break. They are my greatest stressors, simultaneously delighting and bugging my life. Just when I think they are settled in for the night and we can finally get some Daddy and Mummy time, one of them cries/ wants a drink of water/ has a tummy ache/ can't sleep/ wants a hug/ comes up with some other random reason to remind us that they run things in our home. One time, we had put them to bed and were watching a movie downstairs. Imagine my surprise, finding Alexis fast asleep on the stairs on my way to bed at midnight. I quickly took a picture before I carried her back to her bed. I have proof if she attempts to deny in future and you all are my witnesses :)

 I am convinced that they work for some top secret government agency as "Anti-Intimacy Agents"! Their sensors are CIA grade and I have nicknamed them Fire Extinguishers cos they stay trying to put out the fire of my love life. Try as they may, I shangree! God is on my side and I shall overcome! Did I hear you say AMEN?! Thank you jare! God bless you! ;)

There may be some Superhero mums who never get exhausted, are always smiling as they change diapers and are perfectly satisfied with their non-existent sex lives, but I am not one of them. I used to feel guilty about the negative emotions that I felt and I would never even admit them. I'm so over that. I've learned to acknowledge that those emotions are legitimate and they do not make me a bad mum. They make me human.

I've done my part of that "Be fruitful and multiply" scripture. I'm on the "Have dominion" part right now. Tonight, I'm dreaming another dream. There ain't no pregnancy making it into that one for sure! Amen!

Thanks for coming by again and again.

May your dreams come true!

xxx

Juggling Two Lovers: Steady Main Chick Vs Fleeting Side Chick.

It's a cold rainy morning and I don't feel like getting out of bed.
No, it's not the weather, I'm just moody.

I was going to grab my phone and get on Twitter, but then I thought, why not blog? It's been more than two months since my last post. Why?! Warrapened?!! How did my love for Blogger, my Steady Main Chick wax cold? How did Twitter the Fleeting Side Chick win?

Twitter is a safe place for me to vent. The feed back is instant, kind of like a sugar rush and there are loads of interesting/ funny/ crazy people on there, I've made some valuable connections, and I love it!

But it's fleeting.
There's often so much going on, and as I LOL and RT away, I find myself thinking about the need to document my thoughts. Sometimes, when I'm overwhelmed by the many thoughts in my head, I think about my mum and wish I could talk to her. Today, I struggled to remember some of the things she used to say and I thought, what if she wrote things down? What if she had a blog? What a treasure that would be!!

That's what this blog, My Place In Space is for. Chronicling my journey and documenting my life so I can map my trajectory. Someday, my children will wonder about me and if I'm not here, they'll read this. This is where I should be. So what's keeping me away?

Well, the thing about putting my thoughts here is that it feels somewhat permanent. Like, I'm sorta kinda blue right now, but it's only a matter of time before I put things in perspective and get over it. Spilling my guts might be therapeutic, but then, do I want the permanence writing brings?

Also, I want to be about love and light and "all things bright and beautiful". The news already has more than enough mood dampening material. There's no need to add to that and really, who cares?

Truth is, real life is not all sunny skies. There are up rainy days and cloudy days and while recording only the positive might help me to look back and stay thankful, it doesn't paint an accurate picture.

Do I want to be telling half truths, projecting a false image?
How do I balance my need to be authentic and real with the need to keep my business private?
I don't have the answers, but I'm sure I'll figure them out as I go along.

In one of my Psych courses, I learned about Memory Reconstruction. Simply put, our memories change over time and are affected by subsequent events. The human mind mixes events and fills in the gap, so when we try to recollect a memory, we often end up with a version that is different from actual events.

Writing things down helps keep memories intact and I'll keep that in mind when I make excuses not to document my thoughts and experiences.

The plan is to spend more time here this year, writing my stories and chronicling my journey. Looking back at how much I've evolved since I started blogging, and how you all who come here have enriched my life, I'm excited and I look forward to spending more time here, with my Steady Main Chick and all my family on this side.

Twitter, being the relentless Side Chick stays competing with Blogger for my attention but I have no plans of dumping her. I love my family on that side too, so I'll be juggling two lovers.

Can I successfully Juggle Twitter and Blogger without abandoning either?

Challenge Accepted!

It will be interesting to see how both families blend. I'm going to invite all of my Twitfam here and if you're part of this happy Blogfam already, you can join my Twitfam by following @Gbemisoke.
I look forward to sharing my journey with you and learning from you.

Thanks for coming by again and again.
May your dreams come true!
xxx