It's urgent!! We need to step up and be proactive about educating our children and equipping them with the tools they need to survive in a world where sexual perversion has become so pervasive.
Educating our children about sex is primarily the responsibility of parents. Not school, not church, not their peers. It's on us. We need to step up and act NOW!!
Just this Friday, we were talking about it on Twitter. I saw a tweet about 9 and 10 year olds having sex and after I retweeted it, we started talking about the importance of sex education. The discussion soon moved to the appropriate age to talk to kids about sex and when my friend Zinnie said we should let kids be kids, I pointed out that our kids go to school with other kids who already know about sex.
The challenge many parents face is that we do not know where to begin. Our parents may not have talked to us about sex, so we are clueless. Talking to our children about sex can be awkward if we think about it as as having "The Talk" when our children "come of age".
What if we looked at it from another perspective?
Sex and sexuality is just one part of the big picture that life is. We don't set aside one day to teach our children about right and wrong, or about our faith and values. Children are inquisitive and they will ask questions. Every time we answer (or refuse to answer) these questions, we are teaching them.
I think that teaching children about sex should not be an isolated event. We need to listen to them. Let's encourage open conversation and watch them for silent cues.
Now, over to you. How do we protect our children? Please share any helpful tips or suggestions.
Let's learn from you.
I read about this this morning and was going to blog about it too. Honestly, i think in a lot of these situations, it does start with a child being molested and the rest is trickle down, especially at that age. Idk if you watched the accompanying video clip, but the father of one of the victims even said that his son has now become a predator because he's searching for that feeling and trying to convince other kids to give it to him. Its all so sad. If anything, i think that "good touch, bad touch" conversation that hopefully parents are having with their little ones needs to evolve to include touches from other children, family members, etc as well as more broader topics about sex and sexuality. Dunno if a 5 year old will comprehend that though.
ReplyDeleteI watched the clip and I felt sorry for the father, having to deal with the effects on his child. His concern about his son abusing other kids is admirable. Hopefully, they'll get help and break the cycle.
DeleteI think open communication is key. Whether we think they comprehend it or not, let's keep talking and creating safe environments for kids to speak up. That way, we can catch it early, even if we can't prevent it.
I agree with you that sex and sexuality is part of the big picture of life and parents need to address it with their children as and when questions/situations occur.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, gaps in knowledge are easily filled with misinformation, suppositions, myths, falacies - these aren't always malicious however they can be, so the best way for your child to be prepared is with facts. As a teacher I am really disheartened by the extent to which our children are sexualised but I'm also dumbfounded by the some of the serious questions I get from them that highlights the fact that these kids are more vulnerable due to their lack of knowledge and the misinformation they've been given.
The questions they ask can be shocking! You wouldn't expect them to know so much, but they do and like you said, we must be prepared with facts.
DeleteBetter safe than sorry!
This is super scary. Falling into the category of those whose mothers never gave them"the talk" (these conversations involved unwarranted slaps, and baseless accusations), with my daughter, i swing on the pendulum from paranoia to burying my head in d sand. I look forward to learning how to approach the talk with a young child.
ReplyDeleteVery scary!
DeleteThe time to start talking is now. Watching tv, playing in the park, let's answer their questions.
We need to let them know what type of touch is not okay, so that they can speak up. We need to be proactive.
This is so shocking to hear. The world has really changed and everyone including parents have to be a step ahead. It's a pity kids will start losing their innocence at such a young age but mehn, if parents need to have those talks then by all means. I think I like Lady Ngo's suggestion of the 'good touch, bad touch' talks. At least thats somewhere to start from. Let them know that no one should touch them inappropriately and also let them know what to do if anyone attempts to (scream or something). It's just too sad
ReplyDeleteDesperate times call for desperate measures!
DeleteWow,, this is so shocking. I love your tweets on the issue and most of what Lady Ngo said. Better to be proactive.
ReplyDeleteYeah! Better safe than sorry!
DeleteGbemi, I haven't got kids as yet, but when I do I hope to start them early on sex education.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, teach them to name the sex organs correctly, afterall we don't refer to the hands as a stretching organ or the head as a cap, so why should the Penis be a Peepee or the Vagina be a bumbum or something ridiculous we tend to coin for it. Kids being inquisitive in nature would naturally go seek knowledge elsewhere if we don't teach them ourselves.
I love your examples!
DeleteIf we don't say "stretching organ", why should we call bodyparts anything else?
Thanks!
lool..... i find the illustrations funny. hahaha. but makes sense.
DeleteWe spoke about this when i saw this story (my sisters and I) and I guess basically we agreed that
ReplyDelete1. As soon as a child can understand u shld start some form of education, where the depth of detail u give depends in the age of the child - on example being my sis', in her words "When Z was 2 we used to play a game where I'll tell him to smack the hands of anyone who touches his bum n run n tell mummy immediately. You wont believe how well he understood it to the point that even when bathing, he won't let the nanny wash his bum. He'll just start screaming "mummy come!! They are touching my bumbum". It was funny, but I believed it was a start"
2. Speak with older kids about "allowable contact" with the opposite sex and try to talk to them about the events of their day and everyone in their class, sch, sch bus etc. Just to have an idea of what's going on in their lives and to make them feel free enough to confide in you.
I think starting early is the way to go...this is just sad, I felt mad at the care givers, I felt bad for the parents and I was totally broken trying to imagine how those kids psyche would be right now. Thank God it came out though, there's hope yet
I can imagine Z screaming. Hilarious, but with all we see and hear, I'll choose paranoia over regret.
DeleteI like your sister's approach. We need to make them free enough to let us know what's going on in their lives.
There is hope!
am shocked....i dont even know what to say
ReplyDeleteI can relate Kiky.
DeleteAfter the shock phase has passed, the next step is "What do we do?? That's the stage I'm at right now.
We are living in scary times. This is so sad ; parents who think they are giving their children the best in moral education by sending them to faith based schools only to be faced with this; children who should be innocent but are already exposed because of one person's lack of control. I don't think there should be a particular time when you give 'the talk'. Every single opportunity should be used to educate them.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about teaching children about sex as early as you can.
ReplyDelete1. right name for right organs
2. what is appropriate play and what is not
3. Boundaries to their bodies and to others
4. pregnancy is usually a good time to teach them a little more about the birds and the bees
5. God help us all!
The world has changed, so the way sex education should be taught must change too. Unfortunately, I am no expert in this, as I know next to nothing about bringing up a child.
ReplyDeleteSIGHS! This is a topic I dreaded talking about with my kids, but I had to take the bull by the horn and did it when my oldest was around 6years and continued to do so at every given opportunity and she is 11 now, and knows about sex, likewise her siblings!
ReplyDeleteI was shocked when I read it also, I just couldn't imagine how they understand what they were doing.... 5years can barely express themselves well, basically they just want to play, eat and sleep.
There is so much sex exposure from the media....everything is sexualized, even some of the cartoons!
Like everyone has said, the world as we knew it, growing up, has changed so much and our children have become such an endangered specie such that the way our parents approached the sex talk with us, can never suffice with the children of this generation. In those days, it was sufficient to say that, if you even stand beside a man, you would get pregnant, and that kept us, but you cannot try that in this over sexualized age where, even a toothpaste add, carries with it images of near naked women.
ReplyDeleteI have four children-9, 7, 4, and 18 months, and when my oldest was 6, and her younger brother 4, I initiated the sex talk, after reading up on how to tailor the information to be age appropriate. I cringed each time I had to mention actual names for private body parts, but I did anyway. With my daughter, I'd tell her that it was time for 'mother-daughter' discussion, and this would excite her no end. I do not want to kid myself that the children are totally oblivious to what sex is all about, because like Gbemi rightly pointed out in her tweets, they mix with other children in school who may have been exposed to sex, and one cannot sit with them in the classroom. I tell them first of all, that their bodies belong to them and no one has a right to touch it anyhow, I explain what is good and bad touching, I tell them what body parts are private/public, I tell them what to do if somebody attempts to touch them in a wrong way, I help them identify safe authority figures that they can report to, I let them understand that they cannot sit on uncles laps and vice versa, that nobody should ask them to keep secrets from mum and dad because those two would never lie to them, that even if the offender threatens that he or she will kill mummy and dad if they do not cooperate, they should not believe them, and above all, I tell them what the Bible has to say, and I pray with them, and for them. From time to time, I do a 'refresher course' if I feel that the information is becoming stale, lol.
Sometimes the worst happens despite our best precautions, but we should prepare our children for any worst case scenario by arming them with adequate information that would help them deal with any abusive situation, should it arise. Above all, let us pray, pray, and pray again for our children. We can never go wrong with that, as God is able to do for our children, what we can never do for them. Thank you for blogging about this 21st century menace which is getting worse. Cheers.
io
I like..xxxx
DeleteI agree with Lady Ngo... good touch and bad touch.
ReplyDeleteMum used to tell me nobody was allowed to touch me down there... Its a special area. As a result, am protective of it, I was prolly around 4 or less but when I started boarding house the talk became intense. She carried out check ups each time we came home that means bearing naked ( it didnt think much of it then, thought she was just crazy lol). If I ever had a cut or got injured in special areas, I was interrogated severely lol. I guess she has experienced her fair share and didnt want us to go through it. She drilled it in, alot. Hence, I used to run away from the children that liked playing silly plays like Mum and Daddy etc. Or anyone that tried playing with me and pulling my panties got a beating o.. lol.
I will pray for wisdom ( I don't have one yet but when I do) I will be sure to pay attention and start explaining things to them. I would defo highlight the dos and donts just like no fighting, no pushing or punching, no funny play too. But you have to be subtle not to actually awaken their interests.
WISDOM is the principle thing. We need to Pray for it. xxx
Open conversation, modelling morality, informal teachings and lots of prayers. Thanks a lot for raising this very sensitive and important issue. Have a super blessed day!
ReplyDeleteLove
This is fantastic post. It just goes to show what humanity and existence has turned into. In between, why are there no more posts for us?
ReplyDeleteblessings......
ReplyDeletethere is so much i want to say here i fear i won't stop writing till tomorrow. Needless to say, parents you have to speak to your children, forewarned is forearmed.