Monday, June 13, 2011

The dead girl?! That could easily have been me!

Hello beautiful people *waving*
It's been a while since I've been here and there's been so much going on. Lots of interesting stuff. I'll let you in on all the juicy gist in good time.*smile smile wink wink*

I read an article in Punch newspapers today that had me in tears. It's about Nigeria's high maternal mortality rate and highlights the story of a 29 year old lady who died on Wednesday, a day after having her baby on Tuesday. What makes this story personal for me is that it could have been me the only difference being that she had a C-Section and I didn't.

Having Alexis last year is one experience I can NEVER forget.
I came here from Naija pregnant and I hadn't decided if I wanted to live here or not, so I was in holiday mode cos I knew I was going back home. I enjoyed being a JJC, went to Vegas and had a lot of fun, but I was always tired. My bloodwork showed I was anemic, which explained the tiredness and so my gynecologist put me on some meds and watched me closely.

Things went really well. So well, I had time to take these pictures just before I left for the hospital on Sunday evening. I was feeling like a babe ;o) Of course I was wearing gbemisoke.

This was me on Monday morning after a restful night that I thoroughly enjoyed (cos of all the attention from the nurses) I felt like I was in a 5star hotel :o)

Fast forward a few hours... pushing, bearing down, Alexis was born.. no pics cos hubby had enough on his plate, watching me push and all that. He was a trooper :o) The doctor said I did good, everything was ok and he left. I held my baby, everyone was smiling.... All is well that ends well right?

errrm, not without some drama that played out like a scene from Grey's anatomy...

I started to haemorrhage!! Just like the lady in that article, I was losing blood and my PCV was low.
Thank God for observant nurses!! As she was cleaning me up, she became worried that there was too much blood. She called the doctor, who had already left the premises, and voiced her concern. He came right back and alarmed at how much blood he saw, declared an emergency. In no time, I was in the ER getting a transfusion while the whole team was searching for the source of the bleeding and trying to stop it.

This experience is one of the reasons I decided to move here. I had my son in Nigeria, and even though my gynecologist and his hospital came highly recommended, I doubt that they would've been able to respond as quickly as the team here did. I think so cos even though the doctor on duty was around, only the midwife was there when I actually delivered the baby. He came around when I needed stitches.

Having experienced childbirth in both countries, I know there's a HUGE difference. While I can sit here and say "thank God I moved here", my heart is heavy cos lives are being wasted. I do not think that my life is more valuable than that of any other woman back home. It's just not fair. The statistics are alarming! According to the article,
"!n simpler terms, the risk of a woman dying from childbirth is one in 18 in Nigeria, compared to one in 29,800 for Sweden. Our women are dying; believe it when you are told that one woman dies every 10 minutes due to complications arising from childbirth. Our men are becoming widowers and our children motherless." 
 You can therefore understand how extra thankful I am to be alive and well to see Alexis turn one. My lil Princess has gone from being this adorable bundle that had me tearing up (for joy) for weeks after I had her

To this even more beautiful angel that has filled our lives with laughter

I am grateful to God for His many blessings, Especially the ones that money cannot buy.
While I celebrate, I remember those who've passed. I am not better than them. They didn't have to die. So while we go on with business as usual, lets remember that knowing what's right to do and not doing it is leading to deaths, most of them avoidable.

Have a great week and please remember to thank God for keeping you. He didn't have to.


  1. An amazing testimony...thank God for your life...Alexis is beautiful!

  2. thank God for you .... really hope there is an upturn in the naija medical system cos life is valuable .....

    i like your website 2

  3. babes thank God for you oo .. if it had been here in naija.. like i said Thank God . A while back a colleague of mine had her baby in America and she developed some complications .. i remember when she was pregnant she was so huge her face was puffy and her feet were always swollen. The doctors here saw nothing wrong with her but being an american citizen she travelled to have her baby and after her c section her body almost shut down and she hemorrhaged badly she had to have emergency surgery immediately.. the cause? she said it was something called eclampsia I tell you gbemi that incident put the fear of God in me concerning childbirth in Nigeria 'cos if she had delivered that baby here ...hmmm only God can answer that question. My advice to anyone pregnant in this naija is get out if you can and if you can't pray very well and make sure you're registered at the fashola's (General) hospital or a very very good Class A (according to the HMO) hospital. any one patronizing all these under the petesi "private " hospitals is simply putting themselves through unnecessary risk. "cos in my book it's better to be safe than sorry. Hope you and your are doing very well. God bless you
    btw.. where is this my couture dress ehh???? lol

  4. she is beautiful, thank God for your health. May the soul of that lady who passed rest in peace.

  5. Thank God for you Gbemi
    Like you, I despair when it comes to the number of mothers & babies we lose to inadequate care.

    Like you, I have had issues WITH ALL 3 of my pregnancies (a story for another day)

    Nigeria is frustrating. Lets not even get started with issues around VVF, Lack of geno testing, preeclampsia care etc Hummph!!!

    Your daughter is beautiful. May God protect your children. May He also protect women in developing countries who struggle with their children / pregnancies daily. Amen

    Hope all is well

  6. Well done babe! Miss yah! - J.0'Y (Daystar Naija)

  7. awwww...we thank God for you....and Alexis is so cute, as well as your son.

  8. Great testimony o. My sweetheart was in the theatre last week as a student doctor when one woman the doctors operated on died before their eyes and had a still birth. The reason was she lost lots of blood too and the doctors could not trace the source/cause, even after her death.

    It was a sad story cos that was the first time my dear witnessed someone die right before her eyes. After hearing that story, I doubt if I'd ever allow my wife to give birth in Nigeria, seriously. Bless God for your testimony ma.

    Your children are looking very lovely :)

    - LDP

  9. bless ur heart gbemi!

  10. My dear friend, am so glad you made it.Alexis is such an adorable princess and i bless the name of the LORD for his mercies endures forever.
    Take care and extend my love to the rest of the family.See u soon.

  11. @Blessing
    I thank God oh! Thanks for the RT

    I just left your blog. I love the poem :)
    Thanks for coming by. I just added you to my blogroll.

    Thank God for your colleague!
    Good advice there, but how many people can afford to travel. A large number of healthcare professionals here are Nigerians. My gynecologist is Nigerian. We are here doing amazing things and our own people back home are dying. It's just sad.

    That your couture dress ehn?! Sooner than laster babe! You know gbemisoke's gotchya :o)

  12. @PrettyLashes
    ;;) Thanks babe. AMEN!!

    AMEN oh! We can't afford to stop praying.
    You see what I was saying over at yours about our "it is well" syndrome. We keeping praying (and we shouldn't stop), yet we neglect to do the needful.
    If prayers alone were enough, we shouldn't have any problems in Niaja, cos as my Pastor said, all we would need to do is line up along Lagos-Ibadan Express way and begin to speak in tongues and miraculously, the roads would get tarred.
    God wouldn't do for us what He has already equipped us to do ourselves.

    I loved your two part marriage post :o)

    Thanks for coming by. I'm sure I miss you guys more :o)

  13. @Sisi Yemmie
    Thanks babe. I'm blushing on their behalf :)

    Oh my days!
    I would probably have passed out!!
    Sad to see so many lives wasted, but then all of us can't afford to "escape" abroad. Enough of avoidable deaths.

    Thanks "Sir" :)

    Thanks :)

  14. You are blessed and have much to be thankful for.

  15. waoooo....great testimony, your babies are Gorgeous!!!!!!

  16. I rejoice with you with other women who had survived child birth...THANK YOU GOD are always the first words that come out of my mouth immediately i push out my's really sad about the women that die in our hospitals due to either negligence or expertise...hence one MUST be prayerful throughout that period...ALEXIS is so beautiful...just look at those eyes..awww.

    My 3rd cousin gave birth 2 days ago and i went to pay a visit yesterday and she was dizzy, i quickly checked her pad,but no heavy flow...i was worried but the doctor said the dizzy spell would soon go..i mixed malt & milk. then hot milo to drink...she felt much better later...then the baby threw up mucus, rushed him back to the hospital, and mucus extractor was used to suck out the saliva...nothing was found! GOD would continue to help we women in Nigeria o...AMIN.

    Thank you for this wonderful testimony xoxo

  17. or lack of expertise, i wanted to say.

  18. @Highly Favored
    Thanks. I don't take it for granted at all.
    I just left your blog and I like, so I added you to my blogroll. Thanks for stopping by.

    @9ja Foodie
    Thanks sweetie

    Thank God your cousin is well. That's how they'll be saying the dizziness would go, they won't run basic tests. But then again, not everyone can afford theses tests, so what can they do? We'll keep calling on God till we see the change we desire.
    Thanks for stopping by

  19. Oh wow! Your daughter is beautiful! Thank God for your life oh- and for observant staff and all. Shudder!


  20. Happy birthday to my darling aburo, Alexis! May you grow in grace and int he wisdom of our Lord! I'll call in a few.

    Nigeria scares me, seriously. Only God saved my Mum while giving birth to my sis and Oluwajuwuralo Ohisineme was my friend in college. Only God can console us of this loss.

  21. its so sad how so many lives are lost during childbirth in nigeria and many other african countries. I hope something happens to reverse the state of our hospitals and the workers we have in them.

  22. Emmm, ok, shud I have read this post now???....anyways no shakings (you know what I mean).

    God would continually keep us o, cos its only by His grace, I rejoice with you indeed, the miracle of childbirth is a great one indeed, more so when mother and child are both in good condition at the end of the day. A friend was angry at God when she had to be induced (cos she was trusting for a supernatural childbirth), and in the next room, another lady gave birth naturally and passed away late that night...we both learned that day that life in its own was a testimony

  23. sad story on punch and thank God for your life.I will keep praying for the health sector in Nigeria.Your baby is too cute...very pretty girl.
    i actually came here after seeing your comment on bellanaija..Good point!!

  24. your baby is so beautiful..Congrats!

    May the soul of the women rest in peace..Its so sad how women die back home. My aunt was having contractions, upon getting to the hospital in naija, the doctr abi nurse gave her a pill. few hours later, baby n gree comeout, so they did c-section. lo and behold, the baby was dead. how did that happen no one knws.. who will you blame or sue..this couple have been struggling for 7 years to have a child..Oh Nigeria

  25. amazing! i'm really happy for you and your family. our medical system down here is horrible and those who can't travel out can only beg for God's mercies.

    your kids are beautiful too. God bless you for sharing

  26. Till today, the health system in Nigeria is still a burden to me, and one passion I hope to return to one day soon. God bless you and your family.

  27. Wow, what an amazing testimony and thanks be to God that you lived to tell it. Its always sad to hear about people losing their lives unnecessarily in Nigeria (or any country really). It really is no wonder so many people leave and don't come back-which at the end of the day does nothing to fix the issue.

  28. Your kids are cute and thank God for your life.

  29. Thank God for you my dear! Childbirth is indeed a miracle!

  30. haba! i cld hv sworn i comment a while ago, nawa 4 blogger o

    btw: i lv ur kids :) bawo?

  31. Awww, this is so cute. Thank God giving you a successful childbirth and keeping your family. Nice blog you got here and I am following.
    Please, check my blog out at

  32. Thank God for life. You daughter is so cute.

  33. Awww this is a awesome testimony and I pray your testimony will continue to inspire many more souls to Christ..

    I pray God will support and inspire the medics in Nigeria to up their game and the job Fashola is doing will pay off.

    Child birth is truly a miracle, I thank God for my mum that is why she does not joke with us ohh. I see why parents most esp mothers do not play with their kids cos they know the pain they went through.

    I thank God for giving you the grace to survive and live to tell the testimony. That is a miracle.

    I must say, u look amazing in that native, preggie suits u well. Alexis is so gorgeous and she has beautiful eyes. Both of them are so gorgeous so alot of potential are lining up ohh.. lol.

    Above all, the cake is unique and creative (looks like water cake) I bet it taste great too..

    Yummy Mummy ;), I draw inspiration from you. Keep up the awesome work. (Happy Smiles, :), :), :)).

  34. the last one was meant to be a smile not a laughing dude... pardon the mistake...;)

  35. great testimony. One day, hopefully, our medical services will improve.

  36. Amazing testimony...thank God for your life, your children are really beautiful.

  37. Thank God "it was not you" ... Life is really a gift from God and I pray that you fulfill the number of your days.

    And your 'lil princess looks just like you! Cute like her mama!

  38. This is really worth the read. Thanks for posting and may God bless your family. Cheers

  39. She is beautiful.

  40. wow congrats!! That's such a great testimony.
    And your babies are really cute, i love the girl's smile. You are indeed blessed dear.

    I'm ffg now, check mine too when you can

  41. Awww your kids are beautiful and thank God for your life...

    Thanks for stopping by :)

  42. Thank God for life and for safe deliveries. As someone who almost died during childbirth (I am alive only because of God) in a Nigerian hospital, I can relate well with this post.
    I have lost very good friends too in Childbirth and really want to see an end to this menace. I def will not choose to have my next child in Nigeria but going out isn't going to solve the problem for people who cannot afford that. *been thinking since about what to do* God help us!

  43. such a shame, its not only d medical sector, its everything eg road, electricity etc. God protect our people

  44. Awww. We thank God for your beautiful children!
    The health care in Naija really does erk me! I pray God will raise someone mighty to do something big in this area.
    God bless you.x

  45. Wow wonderful testimony. God help us in 9ja(amen) Your daughter is beyond cute.

  46. I thank God He turned that experience into a testimony for you......n u av a beauty to show for it.

    My mom also experienced complications when having my brother n almost lost her life, but thank God for GOD! Naija medics are too lackadaisical.....the other day I was at the clinic in the Governor's office n I must say I was too disappointed for words, a whole state house!!! May God help the situation.

    I love ur blog, now following. U could also check out mine-


  47. Very inspiring and a beautiful testimony. I heard of a CS death last night, and it's not a coincidence I'm reading this this morning. Your kids are adorable.

  48. Your angel is beautiful!!!!
    WOW and your story is such a wonderful testimony. Thank God for you. My friend delivered in a Nigerian hospital by herself cos the nurses were too busy doing other stuff. It was her first time, she didnt even know she had pushed the baby out.
    Our maternal/child health mortality figures are heart-breaking. really heartbreaking. Makes you wonder what it takes for our leaders to wake up and smell the coffee about our health system.

  49. awwww... thank you so much for taking time out to leave comments... :)

  50. Gbemi, this is extremely worth the read...

    firstly, happy first birthday to alexis, may she grow in grace, wisdom, stature and favour with Men and God...may they both be your pride in life, such an adorable duo, im sure they bring you laughter always, it is my earnest prayer that they will always be sources of laughter for you and hubby...

    It is good to be thankful to God for childbirth safe delivery and I thank God for your life. Gbemi,the story in punch is such a pathetic one because the lady in question (GOD BLESS HER SOUL)and I attended the same UNIVERSITY.

    A very brilliant lady with an adorable passion for God....She actually journeyed to University College Hospital, in Ibadan from Lagos to have that baby...I am sure she did that just because she had her first baby there and also because she believed being a foremost teaching hospital, they will have expert hands..but how very sad???

    This situation brings to mind an unanswered question-"what is the life of an average Nigerian worth?"

    Sis, it is not everyone that can afford to travel out to deliver one's baby not to talk of even relocating so the only solution is PRAYER....

    Prayer for the health sectors in our nation and many other dead sectors and above all prayer whenever one is expecting that God would take charge of the delivery process...

    My princess was a year some few months back, delivery was God, even though it was in a private hospital in Lagos but you know what? I have a secret.. I simply confessed God's word all through the conception period, "that I will proceed into the "DELIVERY ROOM" AND NOT THE "LABOUR ROOM" ...yeah, becos I believe so much in the efficacy of God's word and not the Doctors or Nurses...

    A helpful scripture during conception and delivery is 1st Timothy 2 v. 15. I so much love to meditate on it, it says "women shall be saved in childbirth...if they continue in faith, love, holiness and modesty"


  51. You are so interesting Gbemi :)

  52. You are truly blessed!!!!

  53. Awww...she's gorgeous.
    God bless

  54. First of, I admire your husband for being there at all, he deserves an award (Smiles)

    admie you for being such a brave mum upon all the challenges.

    And finally I agree with you that there is a lot if difference between having births in here and having births over there. I have lost too many acquaintances to even mention over a minor neglect.

    May God bless, protect and keep you and your very beuatiful family

  55. hmmmmmm......God work is in everything, everyday in every way. Glad all went well, you are blessed and your children are a blessings upon the world.


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