Ready to talk to your kids about sex now?

I woke up to this shocking Daily Mail headline  about four and five year olds having sex at preschool.

Like me, many parents send their children to faith based preschools because we believe that they are safer than regular ones. How wrong this assumption can be.

It's urgent!! We need to step up and be proactive about educating our children and equipping them with the tools they need to survive in a world where sexual perversion has become so pervasive.

Educating our children about sex is primarily the responsibility of parents. Not school, not church, not their peers. It's on us. We need to step up and act NOW!!

Just this Friday, we were talking about it on Twitter. I saw a tweet about 9 and 10 year olds having sex and after I retweeted it, we started talking about the importance of sex education. The discussion soon moved to the appropriate age to talk to kids about sex and when my friend Zinnie said we should let kids be kids, I pointed out that our kids go to school with other kids who already know about sex.

I see what mums like me are concerned about. Why are we telling children in diapers about sex? We should let them grow up, right? Maybe not. It's not just adults molesting kids these days, kids are molesting other kids. Some of these children are victims turned perpetrators and are only passing on what they have learned. I won't be surprised to find out that the five year old who was performing oral sex on other kids was molested herself.

The challenge many parents face is that we do not know where to begin. Our parents may not have talked to us about sex, so we are clueless. Talking to our children about sex can be awkward if we think about it as as having "The Talk" when our children "come of age".

What if we looked at it from another perspective?
Sex and sexuality is just one part of the big picture that life is. We don't set aside one day to teach our children about right and wrong, or about our faith and values. Children are inquisitive and they will ask questions. Every time we answer (or refuse to answer) these questions, we are teaching them.

I think that teaching children about sex should not be an isolated event. We need to listen to them. Let's encourage open conversation and watch them for silent cues.

Now, over to you. How do we protect our children? Please share any helpful tips or suggestions.
Let's learn from you.

What Manner Of Dream Is This?

I had a dream.

Feels kinda weird, waking up on Martin Luther King Day, celebrating a guy whose dreams came to pass, while praying fervently that the dream I had does not come to pass. What manner of confusion is this???!! Sometimes I remember my dreams, sometimes I don't. This particular one, I remember very vividly and it scares me.

In the dream, I was pregnant and I went for an ultrasound that showed I was expecting twins. A boy and a girl. I wasn't upset, like I would be in real life if I found out that I was pregnant now. I was smiling and rubbing my huge round tummy, excited about it all and making a joke about how I said I didn't want any more kids and God laughed at me and gave me two.

I'm not smiling at all right now!!

This is not a joking matter and I need to put it out there, so the universe hears me! 

I DON"T WANT ANY MORE BABIES! PLEASE!!

If you like, laugh at me. God is watching you in 3D. 

I want all those babies for everyone who is believing God for children, just not for me. I'm done!

Babies are great. I consider my children to be my biggest blessings and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I often think about how different my life would be without the responsibility of caring for Nathan, Alexis and David, and every single time, the organized chaos that my life has become wins. Everything I have had to give up pales in comparison to these blessings, especially because money cannot buy them. They are gifts and I consider myself privileged to be a co-creator with God, birthing not just one or two, but three amazing and beautiful children.

It gets overwhelming sometimes a lot of the time. I often think about renting them out, or donating them to charity, just so I can catch a break. They are my greatest stressors, simultaneously delighting and bugging my life. Just when I think they are settled in for the night and we can finally get some Daddy and Mummy time, one of them cries/ wants a drink of water/ has a tummy ache/ can't sleep/ wants a hug/ comes up with some other random reason to remind us that they run things in our home. One time, we had put them to bed and were watching a movie downstairs. Imagine my surprise, finding Alexis fast asleep on the stairs on my way to bed at midnight. I quickly took a picture before I carried her back to her bed. I have proof if she attempts to deny in future and you all are my witnesses :)

 I am convinced that they work for some top secret government agency as "Anti-Intimacy Agents"! Their sensors are CIA grade and I have nicknamed them Fire Extinguishers cos they stay trying to put out the fire of my love life. Try as they may, I shangree! God is on my side and I shall overcome! Did I hear you say AMEN?! Thank you jare! God bless you! ;)

There may be some Superhero mums who never get exhausted, are always smiling as they change diapers and are perfectly satisfied with their non-existent sex lives, but I am not one of them. I used to feel guilty about the negative emotions that I felt and I would never even admit them. I'm so over that. I've learned to acknowledge that those emotions are legitimate and they do not make me a bad mum. They make me human.

I've done my part of that "Be fruitful and multiply" scripture. I'm on the "Have dominion" part right now. Tonight, I'm dreaming another dream. There ain't no pregnancy making it into that one for sure! Amen!

Thanks for coming by again and again.

May your dreams come true!

xxx

Juggling Two Lovers: Steady Main Chick Vs Fleeting Side Chick.

It's a cold rainy morning and I don't feel like getting out of bed.
No, it's not the weather, I'm just moody.

I was going to grab my phone and get on Twitter, but then I thought, why not blog? It's been more than two months since my last post. Why?! Warrapened?!! How did my love for Blogger, my Steady Main Chick wax cold? How did Twitter the Fleeting Side Chick win?

Twitter is a safe place for me to vent. The feed back is instant, kind of like a sugar rush and there are loads of interesting/ funny/ crazy people on there, I've made some valuable connections, and I love it!

But it's fleeting.
There's often so much going on, and as I LOL and RT away, I find myself thinking about the need to document my thoughts. Sometimes, when I'm overwhelmed by the many thoughts in my head, I think about my mum and wish I could talk to her. Today, I struggled to remember some of the things she used to say and I thought, what if she wrote things down? What if she had a blog? What a treasure that would be!!

That's what this blog, My Place In Space is for. Chronicling my journey and documenting my life so I can map my trajectory. Someday, my children will wonder about me and if I'm not here, they'll read this. This is where I should be. So what's keeping me away?

Well, the thing about putting my thoughts here is that it feels somewhat permanent. Like, I'm sorta kinda blue right now, but it's only a matter of time before I put things in perspective and get over it. Spilling my guts might be therapeutic, but then, do I want the permanence writing brings?

Also, I want to be about love and light and "all things bright and beautiful". The news already has more than enough mood dampening material. There's no need to add to that and really, who cares?

Truth is, real life is not all sunny skies. There are up rainy days and cloudy days and while recording only the positive might help me to look back and stay thankful, it doesn't paint an accurate picture.

Do I want to be telling half truths, projecting a false image?
How do I balance my need to be authentic and real with the need to keep my business private?
I don't have the answers, but I'm sure I'll figure them out as I go along.

In one of my Psych courses, I learned about Memory Reconstruction. Simply put, our memories change over time and are affected by subsequent events. The human mind mixes events and fills in the gap, so when we try to recollect a memory, we often end up with a version that is different from actual events.

Writing things down helps keep memories intact and I'll keep that in mind when I make excuses not to document my thoughts and experiences.

The plan is to spend more time here this year, writing my stories and chronicling my journey. Looking back at how much I've evolved since I started blogging, and how you all who come here have enriched my life, I'm excited and I look forward to spending more time here, with my Steady Main Chick and all my family on this side.

Twitter, being the relentless Side Chick stays competing with Blogger for my attention but I have no plans of dumping her. I love my family on that side too, so I'll be juggling two lovers.

Can I successfully Juggle Twitter and Blogger without abandoning either?

Challenge Accepted!

It will be interesting to see how both families blend. I'm going to invite all of my Twitfam here and if you're part of this happy Blogfam already, you can join my Twitfam by following @Gbemisoke.
I look forward to sharing my journey with you and learning from you.

Thanks for coming by again and again.
May your dreams come true!
xxx

It's been 6 years!

Saturday, November 11, 2006.
There was a flurry of activity in the room that morning as my bridesmaids helped me get ready. We heard a knock and were all surprised to see my groom poke his head around the door. "Shuggy!!!", I squealed with excitement, dropping everything and making a beeline for the door. The girls tried to shoo him away, insisting that he was not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony. Paying them no mind, I ran into his arms and as he held me, I closed my eyes and said a quick thank you to God. My heart was filled with joy and gratitude. They teased us and we laughed. That was the beginning.

I knew my life would change when I said my vows that day. What I didn't know, was how significant that change would be.

Sunday, November 11, 2012.
It's been six years.

We started this journey in a tiny apartment, our mattress on the floor, watching bootleg copies of Lost and Grey's Anatomy, because we couldn't afford a bed or cable TV. The AC we inherited from the previous tenants helped keep things cozy, perfect weather for getting to "know" each other. Good times!

We've had good days. Lots of them. We've seen our dreams become reality. Our goals and projections have not only been met, they've been exceeded. We've seen God come through for us time and again. God has been kind to us. We couldn't have done it without Him.

We've had bad days. Times when giving up seemed like a better option. Days when love became a choice, a tough one, because the feeling was just not there.

We have made it through the storms, surviving love's ebb and flow. We have laughed and cried together. We've evolved and grown together. We have made memories together. As I look back on the past six years, my heart is filled with gratitude to God.

I'm grateful for all His blessings, especially the ones that money cannot buy.

I am grateful for the opportunity to walk this journey with you Adebola, the love of my life and the life that I love. My booboookins. All round great guy, steady proving to me that there is a God. Putting up with my skoin skoin issues. Keeping my heart tender. Letting me thrive. When I count my blessings, I count you twice. Olowo ori mi. Nwoke e ji eje mba. I celebrate you.

I'm grateful for Nathan Ademide, Alexis Ademidun and David Ademidara, the children God gave us. If God's blessings were earned, I would not qualify.

Moshopef'OluwanitoriwipeOsh'orenlafunmi. If I had a thousand tongues  they would not be enough.

I have no idea what the future holds. Truth be told, I am afraid sometimes. What if...? To keep fear at bay, I keep reminding myself of the scripture God gave me in the beginning

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."                             1 John 4:18 

The truth is that in life, there are no guarantees.
Life happens and there will always be things that are beyond my control. I have the option of refusing to maximize my life by living in fear, or  choosing to make the best of what God has given me, trusting Him to perfect what He has started.

I look forward to the future holding firmly unto this promise:
"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ"    Philippians 1:6 

Thanks for coming by again and again.
May your dreams come true.
xxx

365 days since my Lil' Miracle arrived :)

"Hello, is that Geebeemislowah" The voice on the phone asked. Hearing my name distorted like that is something I've gotten used to, so I replied, "You mean Gbemisola? Yeah, that's me."

"I'm calling from the lab with your test results" she explained. "Congratulations, you're pregnant!"

WHAT??!!

"What?!" I shouted, "that is sooooo not possible! There's no way I can be pregnant"
"Well you are, congratulations again" she said, as she got off the phone.

That, my friends, was how I found out I was expecting a baby on my birthday last year.

To say that I was shocked is an understatement. I couldn't believe it. It took a while for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I was pregnant. I was sad :(

Yes. Sad. Very Sad.

*insert long story here*

I know I've promised to share this story before, but let me confess, I've been unable to bring myself to write it because it requires dredging up memories of a really dark period in my life. This girl is a coward. I'll give it a shot soon. Today? Tomorrow? The honest to goodness truth is that I don't know.

Suffice it to say, that the time between March, when I found out I was pregnant, and October, when I gave birth, was the most trying period of my entire life.Thankfully, God brought me through.

This scripture is my testimony:

"...Weeping may endure for a night,

But joy comes in the morning."

I went through all of that for a reason and even though I don't fully get it yet, I know that I wouldn't have experienced God the way I did if I didn't go through all I did. GOD IS FAITHFUL.

It's hard to remember all those dark days right now, because Joy has indeed come.When I hear David laugh, I wonder how I could ever have told God I didn't want to be pregnant. David is such a delightful child. There is NO way I could have earned such an AMAZING blessing from God. As he turns one today, my heart is filled with gratitude to God that He gave me David Ademidara MomoreOluwa, My Lil' Miracle.

What life lessons could Humpty Dumpty possibly teach me?!

The frenzied rush to get everyone ready and off to school has become our new normal these days. We had one of the not-so-crazy days last week. Everyone was in a good mood and we were all singing, Nathan using the chance to show off some of the rhymes he's learned in his new school. I didn't know a lot of them, so I would chop mouth ad lib, and then sing really loud when he sang one I knew. When we got to Humpty Dumpty, I was like, yeah, I know that one and we sang the version I knew:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Then Nathan sang this version that I had never heard before and I was blown away! Not because I didn't know the words, but because of the lesson in it for me. Nathan was preaching to me!!  

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Humpty Dumpty knew what to do,

He fixed himself with tape and glue.

I was like, "What did you say?!"

It was a light-bulb moment for me. Humpty Dumpty did what?!

Humpty Dumpty rewrote his story.

He accepted responsibility for his own life.

He didn't accept the verdict of the kings men as final.

He fixed himself. He did something about his life. He may not have looked pretty, all taped up, but he was fixed. He was no longer the victim. He...

I could go on and on, but you get it.

I made a recording of him singing it that morning. You can view it on my youtube channel. I couldn't stop thinking about it and on our way to church on Sunday, they kept singing it.

When we got home, I got a chance to make a better video. They wouldn't stand still, but of course, after I promised to bribe them with give them ice cream, they co-operated :)

Here's the video.

Like the bible says... "Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings..."

Thanks for coming by again and again.
May your dreams come true
xxx

Friends and fun at The Rub :)

It was a few days to my wedding when I got a call from my friend, Deji. He wanted to find out how things were going and if I needed anything. I thanked him and said everything was fine and then he asked what car I was going to ride in to church. Shocked that I was seriously considering riding in "Funmileyi", my faithful rugged Nissan Sunny, he offered me the use of his car he had just bought. He wasn't going to let me get away with another of my crazy schemes... Bride driving her self to church? Maybe in the movies, but not in Lagos.

I was pleasantly surprised by his thoughtfulness. Preparing for my wedding without my parents had taught me that the only One I could really count on was God. Life had shocked me into growing up. Taking care of myself without asking for help quickly become a lifestyle. Deji's kind gesture meant a lot to me particularly because it was his idea, not mine. I have been told that I give off a vibe that suggests I don't need help, perhaps that's why I don't get people offering to help me often. That's fine, I don't have a sense of entitlement. I also don't like waiting around hoping to be rescued. If I want something done, I do it. On the rare occasion that someone not only anticipates my need, but also attempts to help me meet it, I really really appreciate it and I do not take it for granted. It's the little things make my heart smile. I don't forget.

He's in town for a course and we got a chance to hang out last week Friday. We had fun, reminiscing about old times as we laughed and talked over dinner. His wife, Yinka, and I are best of friends. She was one of my bridesmaids and she's extra special because we were born on the exact same day :). We've all come a long way since our Daystar singles fellowship days and God has been kind to us.

We found this really cool restaurant, Jonathan's The Rub, tucked in a cozy little corner and we had a good time. The food was really good, catching up and spending time together was even better. Fun times :)

The Lobster Taco was really good! By far the bestest Taco I have ever had.

I had the Red Snapper Santa Cruz served with a side of  Mac and  5 cheeses. Words . Cannot. Describe.

 Jonathan's The Rub gets 10/10. We're definitely going back.

 I'm going to keep being nice by bringing you more pictures of food ;) If your tummy rumbles, that's a signal for you to say a prayer for me. Hehehe. Pray! Pray for your sister... lolzzz

Thanks for coming by again and again.
May your dreams come true.
xxx