TEST POST

TEST POST
 Mic check. 1. 2. 3. Testing. Testing. Testing.

:) Fear not guys... I'm trying out posting via MMS. Hope it works *fingers crossed*

Side Chick. Prayer Challenge.

I am half asleep, but this post must go up tonight!

My friend, Aloted, started a prayer challenge, IPray4U, on her blog and I would like to invite you to join in.
It's simple. You write the names of seven people and pray for one of them each day. You can read more about it on her Purpose Driven Blog Please join in if you can :o)

Since my last post, I haven't been able to stop thinking about love and how complicated it gets. Time after time, I have come here, attempting to put down my thoughts down, but all those posts have ended up as drafts because I usually end up with more questions than answers.


Twitter is the new side chick that's keeping me away from my loyal first love, Blogger. Just the other day, I posted these tweets:

 

I find it easier to tweet than blog these days, so you might want to follow @Gbemisoke , and if you're not on twitter, what can I say? You're probably more productive than I am, seeing as from my experience, twitter is simultaneously the most useful and useless social network ever.

What has been your experience with twitter? Care to share?

Now let's see if I can keep my newly rekindled love for Blogger fresh by attempting to flesh out a couple of those posts still in draft. 

Thanks for coming by,

May your dreams come true

xoxo

Divorce or Death? Choose.

10:47pm. 5/5/12


My head hurts. My heart too. 


I caught this story on TV as I was prepping the munchkins for bed. Today, 5/5/12 is the three year anniversary of the murder of Sheri Coleman and her two sons, Garett and Gavin. Chris Coleman, husband and father of the deceased, was found guilty of the triple murder exactly a year ago. You can read the full story here. It's long, so I'll break it down.


Chris, 32, had been married to 31 year old Sheri for 12 years. They met when they were both in the military and she had become a stay at home mom. He worked as head of security for Joyce Meyer ministries and had reported to the police that he had started to get death threats to his family from unknown persons, asking him to "tell Joyce to stop preaching the bull" or get killed.


Turns out he had been having an affair with Tara, his wife's best friend from high school, for about 6 months. He had been flying her to meet him at various locations where he was working for Joyce Meyer. They had accounts and credit cards together, planned wedding dates  and had picked out names for their yet to be conceived daughter. He had told Tara that he was serving divorce papers to Sheri on May 5th, the day the murders occurred. They had been sexting and he had promised Tara he would leave Sheri for her. When asked in court if they had been planning to get married, Tara replied, "The divorce had to happen first". She had been putting pressure on him to end his marriage.

Sheri found out about the affair. She showed her friend pictures of Tara, telling her in tears that if anything ever happened to her, "Chris did it". He had asked her for a divorce and threatened her, but Sheri wouldn't let him go. They were going for counselling, but he would put up an act in front of the counselor and flip on her when they were alone, telling her he never loved her and never should have married her. He couldn't initiate the divorce because it could cost him his job. In a video deposition, Joyce Meyer confirmed this. "If he would have been having an adulterous affair, while he was still married, then it could have definitely affected his job," said Meyer. 

On the outside, they looked perfect. Their neighbor said "I always thought of them as the American family, the perfect family". According to this report, on the night before he killed his wife and kids, "Chris Coleman went to the gym and came home to put the boys to bed. They brushed their teeth and said their prayers. he watched a movie downstairs with Sheri. She fell asleep in his arms. Chris Coleman was also texting his girlfriend that night, while he was at the gym and even as he was in the same room with his wife"


He was trapped. He wanted out, his wife wouldn't set him free. His mistress had given him an ultimatum, so he put a plan in place, sending emails to himself to make it seem like someone was planning to hurt his family, getting the police to set up cameras and sneaking in to strangle her with a cord and killing his sons as well just so he could be free. In a recent interview from prison, he insists that he is innocent. He said he was having the affair because he wasn't "getting what I thought I...should be getting at home...from the physical side of things". 

Read more here: http://www.bnd.com/2011/04/27/1685887/colemans-had-dinner-watched-movie.html#storylink=cpy

source

Hmmm...
As usual, I started to look for the lessons in this story and it threw up a lot of questions. Thankfully, (and I say this with immense gratitude to God because I know it is not because I am good or smart or holy) I am not in this situation. But I know people who are. Smiling, answering "fine, we thank God" or "it is well" when asked "how are you?". Women (and men, believe it or not) with spouses who would rather not be with them and have expressed this either directly, or indirectly by acting in a manner that suggests so.


I am writing this post not because I have answers, but I know there is a wealth of knowledge you, reading this right now can bring to the table.


Is a spouse required to stay?


Personally, I have made God's word the final authority over my life, so that's where I went first. God hates divorce. I do not like it too for several reasons. 


Having divorce as an option has been said to greatly reduce the chances of a marriage being successful. We are more likely to make plan A work when we hit a bump in the road without a plan B. Also, divorce hurts children. I know many well balanced people that are products of marriages that ended in divorce, but I know that divorce leaves its scars. There's also our culture. I am Nigerian and generally, women are seen as failures when their marriages do not succeed. It is common to hear that a woman did not "keep her home". I have never heard a man being spoken about like that.


This is why I really need your help. What is a woman to do if her husband does not want her anymore. What if it just isn't working? In this case, we don't know if he abused her physically, but he abused her emotionally. He told her "I don't love you anymore". Was her decision to hold on to him because she didn't have options, being a stay at home mum and all... Question questions and more questions.

*sigh* It's 11:59 and I'm still here... I need to go. The Hubs is waiting up for me. I don't know if I have expressed what's on my heart well, but my hope is that maybe, just maybe, someone would read it and be saved from Sheri's fate.

I really should go over it for typos though...

Okay, It's now 1:43am and I'm still not done. Three hours... Longest post I've ever written (I think).

Please be kind enough to share your thoughts. Feel free to be anonymous if you want to share personal stuff. 

Thanks for always stopping by.

May your dreams come true

xoxo

My Messy Lil' Miracle :o)

Been a while....

I've come here time and again, attempting to put up a post, but the words have eluded me.

This is me making another attempt.

Lots of things have happened since my last post. Many good things, some not so good ones, a few scary ones and one very horrible one...  Someday, I'll be able to talk of the lessons I have learned, but until then, I'm learning to focus on the things I have going for me and to stay thankful. All things are working together for my good. This work in progress is... well, in progress, I guess *chuckles*

I had a birthday, Nathan turned four, The Hubs has been around for a while*big cheesy grin*, Alexis turns 2 in a few weeks, David turns six months in a few days... God has been kind to me.

Ever had a moment when the most random event teaches you a remarkable life lesson? I had one recently and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

David (my Lil' Miracle) is teething. I know I still haven't shared that "Lil' Miracle" story I promised *covers face* I'll get to it soon enough, I promise :o)

So, Lil' Miracle has itchy gums and tries to put everything in his mouth. I got him some Farley's Rusks and he loves them. I should be happy right? He's chewing on something that's good for him, buying a whole box wasn't a waste.... Well, I wasn't. This is why

He "over loved" the rusks. Stuff was in his hair, on his socks, the car seat was messed up. aaaarrrghhh!! Who has time to clean up after all this? As if I don't have enough on my plate already!! I had to give him a bath afterwards and as I put the box of rusks on the shelf, I made up my mind NEVER to give him any more.... then I heard the still small voice...

 "What would happen if I refused to let you enjoy things just because of the mess I would have to clean up after?"

*Sigh*. I just became humble... What was I feeling like? Miss too-busy-to-give-her-baby-a-bath. I'm learning to stay grateful for the many blessings in my life that money cannot buy.
Love. Life. Laughter. Family. Friends. Good health. Salvation.

I'm off to my Zumba class and as I dance and work my body to the red hot dance steps, I'll remember to be thankful that even though I've got a "chinese-flat" bum, i can still shake it ;o)

What are you grateful for? Please share and let's remind ourselves of how blessed we are.

Thanks for coming again and again.
May your dreams come true
xoxo

Three fitness trainers for this one girl!!!

Hello  beautiful people!!!

Abandoning my place in space was not the plan at all... You know how much I love the positive energy you all bring to my life. Every time I read your kind comments, I'm reminded that I am not alone, and that feeling warms my heart :o) Thank you.

I've had a lot of new visitors here since I had the pleasure of kicking off the Love Chronicles series over at The Soul Sistas blog. I share the hubby and I's "how-we-met" story there. You might want to check it out if you haven't read it yet. Sharing with everyone who contacted me with questions after they read the interview has shown me that behind our facades, we are all the same. We yearn to love and be loved. It is such a joy to know that God wants to help us find it. Love is indeed a beautiful thing.

So much has been happening... My life is all kinds of crazy... Crazy good though, not crazy bad *chuckles*... A beautiful mix of highs and lows... I can't complain. I am grateful. I feel blessed and lucky.

So many different things come up in this movie that is my life, I constantly feel a need to let off steam. One reason I haven't been blogging though, is that I have a hard time figuring out where to draw the line between venting and complaining.

The other day, I got downstairs to see that Nathan and Alexis had emptied a pack of oats all over the living room floor. I sent them to their room, worrying about the side effects of eating raw oats as I cleaned up the mess they had made. Imagine my frustration on getting upstairs to see that they had emptied a whole tube of hand lotion all over my toothbrush and theirs as they attempted to brush their teeth! Besides the extra work they kept giving me, how was I to know how much lotion (and only God knows what else) they had ingested?!  AAARRRGHH!!!  As I was getting worked up, thinking "what kind of children are these"?! I started to think about how grateful I should be. I know people who would gladly trade places with me just for the chance to be called mummy... *sigh* That right there is the dilemma I face on the regular these days. Yes I am grateful, but I feel guilty when I vent/complain/rant. I tell myself to suck it up and quit being so dramatic.  Perhaps you're reading this and have it all figured out. I would love to learn if you would be kind enough to share.

Another angle is the "awww" "eeeyah" and "sorry" feedback I get. Especially when I talk about my parents and sister that have gone to be with the Lord. You see, I bring them up a lot cos I'm afraid not talking about them would make me forget them, and the memories we made. Slowly but surely, it is happening... memories fade...I don't want to forget. I want to keep their memories alive. When I talk about them though, I get the "eeyah, poor Gbemi" vibe, which I don't like... The whole point of venting is not to be pitied. I don't want pity. I hate playing the victim. Everybody is going through stuff of their own. I don't want to be the girl that carries her issues around like an albatross. We all know that one person that always has a sob story... nah, I so do not want to be her.

One really great thing about keeping up with the munchkins is all that exercise. I have convinced myself that wearing my workout clothes as I work the vacuum cleaner with one hand and balance David on my hip with the other burns more calories than the treadmill. Meet my fitness trainers Nathan Ademide, Alexis Ademidun and David Ademidara. Don't let their smiles fool you. Jillian Michaels has got nothing on them :o)

Thanks for dropping by yet again.
May your dreams come true
xxx

9 months of serious work and all I got was a "D" ... I couldn't be happier

9 looooooooong months and my result? 

"D" yeah, DAVID

I had him 6weeks ago. I found out that I was pregnant on my birthday, and from then it's been a roller coaster of emotions. Shock, sadness, guilt, anger, exhaustion, pain and now joy, as I hold him in my arms and thank God for such an amazing blessing.

Having a support system made up of family and friends, many of whom I met here, made the journey so much easier and I must say that my greatest blessings are people. God used many people to reach me when it seemed like I couldn't hear Him and I am grateful.

As we dedicated him to God today, my heart was filled with so much joy, it's hard to believe that I was sad when I found out I was pregnant. 

I consider myself privileged to have received such a precious precious gift from God and I call him my lil' miracle.

One of friends went: "Miracle?! Was he conceived of The Holy Spirit?"

Perhaps when I share how it all happened, you'll see why I call him that.

Between feedings, diaper changes, school runs and all the stuff that a girl with 3 children under 4 has to deal with, I can't be here that much, but I'll share, however long it takes. Perhaps my story would encourage someone. I have learnt a lot this year. Lessons I wouldn't have learnt if I didn't walk this road. 
This sorta kinda sums up my story:

Thanks for dropping by.
May your dreams come true
xoxo


And
errrm, 
May your plans be interrupted by pleasant surprises like me... Did I hear you say amen? ;o)

Under construction

Hello beautiful people :o)
I know, I know, It's been really long since I've been here and I apologize.
Being MIA was not the plan at all, but then considering the turn my life has taken, things going the exact opposite of how I anticipated shouldn't come as a surprise...

No I don't mean this blog, I mean my life.

In the past few months, a lot about my life has changed.

Before now, I was sure I had it all figured out. I knew what I was doing and where I was going.

Things were simple. Loving God, walking with Him, letting Him down a lot of the time (especially with my big mouth), and enjoying His grace. Being married to D (who is really and truly a great guy) has been great, challenges and all. I am blessed to share my life with him and would choose him again if I had to. I consider my role as mum to my son and daughter a privilege. It's exasperating at times, but all they have to do is smile and my heart just melts. My siblings are great, always supportive. I've been blessed with great friends, some of who have become sisters, and of course the many women I have been privileged to serve in my career as a tailor, many of whom have become friends. There's also my blog family, from whom I have learned a lot and among whom I have found friends and sisters who have been a blessing to me. 

I've had enough challenges to keep me humble, and I have seen God give me so many testimonies, that I have come to believe that my life is proof that there is a God that rules in the affairs of men. He has brought me through so much, I sometimes feel that just saying thank you does not suffice. Perhaps that's why I talk about Him and the things He's done for me and how grateful I am a lot of the time.

These past few months though, a lot has changed. The things that used to excite me do not do so any more. Some of my friendships have suffered, cos I haven't been the friend I used to be. I am reluctant to share my real thoughts, perhaps cos I'm not sure if I should even be thinking them. My emotional energy tank is on "E" and I find myself questioning a lot of the things I thought I believed. I have found a few answers, but I still have many questions. I wish I could claim to be "deep and spiritual" and in possession of a "supernatural" key that unlocks life's mysteries, but that is not the case. I am tired.

One thing that I am sure of, in spite all my confusion, is that the word of God is true. I have chosen God's word to be the final authority in my life, so I am holding on to Ephesians 2:10 

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Soon this season will be over, and His work in me would be complete. My testimony would be ready to be shared and share I will.

My plan was to write a few lines in response to the kind comments and emails I have received from you, checking to make sure I'm fine, but I have served up an epistle.... you see, things just don't seem to be going the way I planned... 

Thanks for stopping by (even though I haven't been to your blog in months)

May your dreams come true.

xoxo