Abandoning my place in space was not the plan at all... You know how much I love the positive energy you all bring to my life. Every time I read your kind comments, I'm reminded that I am not alone, and that feeling warms my heart :o) Thank you.
I've had a lot of new visitors here since I had the pleasure of kicking off the Love Chronicles series over at The Soul Sistas blog. I share the hubby and I's "how-we-met" story there. You might want to check it out if you haven't read it yet. Sharing with everyone who contacted me with questions after they read the interview has shown me that behind our facades, we are all the same. We yearn to love and be loved. It is such a joy to know that God wants to help us find it. Love is indeed a beautiful thing.
So much has been happening... My life is all kinds of crazy... Crazy good though, not crazy bad *chuckles*... A beautiful mix of highs and lows... I can't complain. I am grateful. I feel blessed and lucky.
So many different things come up in this movie that is my life, I constantly feel a need to let off steam. One reason I haven't been blogging though, is that I have a hard time figuring out where to draw the line between venting and complaining.
The other day, I got downstairs to see that Nathan and Alexis had emptied a pack of oats all over the living room floor. I sent them to their room, worrying about the side effects of eating raw oats as I cleaned up the mess they had made. Imagine my frustration on getting upstairs to see that they had emptied a whole tube of hand lotion all over my toothbrush and theirs as they attempted to brush their teeth! Besides the extra work they kept giving me, how was I to know how much lotion (and only God knows what else) they had ingested?! AAARRRGHH!!! As I was getting worked up, thinking "what kind of children are these"?! I started to think about how grateful I should be. I know people who would gladly trade places with me just for the chance to be called mummy... *sigh* That right there is the dilemma I face on the regular these days. Yes I am grateful, but I feel guilty when I vent/complain/rant. I tell myself to suck it up and quit being so dramatic. Perhaps you're reading this and have it all figured out. I would love to learn if you would be kind enough to share.
Another angle is the "awww" "eeeyah" and "sorry" feedback I get. Especially when I talk about my parents and sister that have gone to be with the Lord. You see, I bring them up a lot cos I'm afraid not talking about them would make me forget them, and the memories we made. Slowly but surely, it is happening... memories fade...I don't want to forget. I want to keep their memories alive. When I talk about them though, I get the "eeyah, poor Gbemi" vibe, which I don't like... The whole point of venting is not to be pitied. I don't want pity. I hate playing the victim. Everybody is going through stuff of their own. I don't want to be the girl that carries her issues around like an albatross. We all know that one person that always has a sob story... nah, I so do not want to be her.
One really great thing about keeping up with the munchkins is all that exercise. I have convinced myself that wearing my workout clothes as I work the vacuum cleaner with one hand and balance David on my hip with the other burns more calories than the treadmill. Meet my fitness trainers Nathan Ademide, Alexis Ademidun and David Ademidara. Don't let their smiles fool you. Jillian Michaels has got nothing on them :o)
Thanks for dropping by yet again.
May your dreams come true
xxx
